Referral Day!!!!

December 27th was the day! The day God knew all along would be the day our waiting would come to an end! WE GOT OUR REFERRAL AND IT'S A BOY!

I decided to stay home that Tuesday, because I knew that if a referral came in to our agency, they would let our director know that day. And I knew that we were next in line, so our chances were pretty high that we would hear something, but even though my hopes were high, I definitely didn't expect anything. I was upstairs at my parents house watching "The Chew," and chatting with my dad. Bryan went downstairs to take a shower. It was about 1:15 in the afternoon and I heard my phone ring. At first, I didn't think anything of it, because I set my phone to ring a special ring tone when my agency called, so I knew it wasn't them when I went to get it. But when I picked up the phone it had a weird area code on it, and my heart stopped. I held my breath and said "Hello?" It was our director from our agency! She greeted me and asked how my Christmas was. I don't know why at this point, I didn't realize that this was THE call. I mean, our agency wasn't even open this week because of Christmas, so there would be no other reason I would be getting this call. But I just chatted with her like it was just a normal conversation. It wasn't until she said, "Well, I just received a referral for you..."  that's when I just lost it and started bawling. My dad went in my mom's room to let her know, "I think Monica just got her baby." Everyone was crying, and then I realized I had to pull myself together and tell my husband! I told her, "I have to tell Bryan!" So, I ran downstairs and opened the door and Bryan was there just about to come up. He saw me crying on the phone and said, "Is that it?" I just nodded my head and we hugged each other in the stairwell. We went into our bedroom and I put our director on speaker phone. She said,"I think Monica has some news to share with you, Bryan." To which I said, "I think he already knows!" ;) She laughed and told us it was a boy and his birth date was January 21, 2011! I thought immediately about how cool that was because that was Bryan's number! :) His basketball number was # 21 in high school, so he has kinda kept it since then. She told us a bunch of stuff about what our next steps would be, and that she was going to send us the official referral and pictures in the morning. We were going to have a hard time sleeping knowing that we would see our baby's face for the first time in the morning! Before we got off the phone, I asked her if we could have his name, and she said it was "Dohyun," meaning "Kind Hearted Way." Once we got off the phone, we looked at each other and just started crying! We immediately began to pray and thank God for answering our long awaited prayer! It was such a special moment that I will never forget!

Can't wait to tell you all about him! Pictures and more details to come once our acceptance is official, but just wanted to share our happy happy news!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your prayers! We are absolutely filled with joy!

 "Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth!" Psalm 47:1-2

Hard Times...But Worth The Wait!

 

I've been so busy lately now that I'm working full time, and haven't had much time to keep up with my blog, but I know that people have been wondering what's been going on, so I thought I would do another update.

Well, we are STILL waiting for a referral.  I didn't think we would still be waiting at this point, but there are a lot of things that have happened in our adoption that we didn't expect, and probably still more to come. For those of you who don't know, there has been some movement in our agency. They have had two referrals so far, but nothing at all last week. Referrals are definitely not coming in order (this was no surprise, but we secretly hoped they would anyway). ;) The children are cute (of course) and seem to be a bit older now (around 12 months).  Seems like they are referring the ones that have been waiting the longest because of the EP delay, so that's what we are kind of expecting at this point, but you never know with Korea. ;) We don't care about having an older child. There are some concerns about attachment, language, and other issues associated with adopting an older child, but we know that God has handpicked this child for us and we can rest in His decision! 

The past few weeks have been up and down for us. One day we are encouraged by movement, the next day, we wonder if will hear anything at all. We also have been hit hard by some financial issues too. We had been told that it would be in our best interest to go ahead with the homestudy update. We are too close for comfort now and if something goes wrong it could cause us some major delays in accepting our referral. Our update is another $1000 we didn't expect to pay!  We also were recently reminded that we will likely need to hire an attorney to finalize our adoption. I had known we needed this, but just forgot about adding it to our final adoption expenses. In the midst of all of this, we also found out our dog, Rosie, needs to have surgery to remove her bladder stones.  Again, we know the Lord will provide. It's the timing that is hard for us right now.

We thought we would be celebrating a referral during Thanksgiving, but now we aren't even sure we will have one for Christmas.  We also aren't really sure how to pray lately. Should we believe that God will give us a referral soon, or should we be praying for continued faith to trust in His timing? We know that God is capable and wants to provide the desires of our hearts, but our past has shown that God often has other plans for us. We would love it if you all would pray for us and help fill in the gap during this time. This waiting is really getting to us!

Throughout this whole journey, I have always heard adoptive parents say,

"Adoption is hard...but it's WORTH THE WAIT!"

I'm VERY much looking forward to the day when I can know this truth!  Thank you all for thinking of us during this time. Don't know how we could get through this without you!

What's NEW?

So, I thought I should send a little update to let people know the latest. As much as we hoped we would have a referral in November, the chances are pretty slim now. Referrals are still being held off until the last of the families have traveled to Korea to pick up their babies. From my knowledge, it looks like the last family is there now. We were told referrals should resume at the end of November, but I'm assuming that for us it will probably be sometime in December.  I would be lying if I said I'm not disappointed in this news. I thought November was going to be the month! I would often pull up the calender on my computer and just stare at each day and wonder which day I would hear this wonderful news. I know it's silly, but that's what adoption does to you! ;) I wanted so badly not to celebrate another holiday without a baby! I thought how wonderful it would be to rejoice with my family this year on Thanksgiving that our journey of becoming parents has finally come to an end!  Again I thought, "surely this is God's plan!" But looks like He has something else in store. 

Along with that, we have also been told that our home study will expire soon. We (well, mostly Bryan) have been making calls to try to figure out what the next steps will be for us regarding this update. Right now, it looks like it stands that it is possible that we may not have to do an update, BUT we would have to receive a referral and send in the acceptance paperwork in a very quick manner in order to prevent this from happening!  If we do not receive a referral soon, we will have to begin the process of updating our homestudy, and that would cost another $1000!! So, there is now a monetary reason we need this referral to happen SOON!

I admit that some days I am on pins and needles waiting for this referral.  Seems like the longer we have to wait, the more chance there is for something to change.  My sweet friend asked me the other day, "How do you do it? How do you manage this disappointment every day?" And I told her that I guess I'm just used to it. But really, now that I think about it, I know that it's God that gets me through it. If I didn't know God or rely on Him for His strength, I know this would have me beaten! I am reminded once again, that when I am weak, God is strong for me! :)

Patience Please!

I have to admit, I haven't been the most patient person lately. Even though I know that there is a chance we could still be waiting a while for our referral, I can't help but think every day, that this could be the day! This has really been keeping me on edge all week!  At the same time, I've thought that I just can't imagine it happening at all. I can't imagine getting that phone call! How can I go over 5 years wanting and praying for something so much, and just like that, I'm a momma?!
So, needless to say, this week has been tough. But I'm just trying to go day by day, remembering that faith in God includes faith in His timing too! Thank you all for your prayers.

Orphan Sunday

 

On Orphan Sunday, Christians stand for the orphan. We are a people called to defend the fatherless...to care for the child that has no family...to visit orphans in their distress.  Please take time today to remember to pray for and see what our part would be to help the 147+ million orphans around the world.

November is Here!

Well, in case you didn't know, the countdown has begun! It's November, so that means referrals are coming!! Wonder when that happy day will be? I'm guessing we will start hearing something in the next few weeks. Whether or not that means us, I can't know for sure, but we have high hopes for it!! :)
I'm praying that day is just around the corner! And I'm praying for my friends, Christy and Kelly, number 1 and number 2 on our agency's list! So thankful for you girls and the others in our adoption group that have offered so much needed love and support during this difficult wait.  Couldn't make it without yall!
May this month be a blessing to the many who wait!
So, any guesses on when that happy day might be for us? You won't win a prize or anything (you'll have to go to Kelly's blog for that.) ;) But it might be fun to guess! :) Here is a hint, referrals usually come in on Monday or Tuesday of each week with our agency, so that may help.

Blessings in Disguise

 Today was supposed to be our baby's due date.  Once we were pregnant, I was anticipating the fall season because it was to bring our little miracle into the world, but since our miscarriage I have dreaded this day.  Bryan hugged me this morning, once he realized what the day was, and asked me if I was okay. I told him that it hadn't felt much different yet. I have to admit too, that I was a bit distracted because we had Bryan's sister staying with us this weekend, but I didn't mind the distraction.  Even though I wanted to acknowledge this day, I didn't want to make a big deal about it by announcing it to everyone. But then we went to church, and God did something very special for us that I felt I just had to share.
So, just a little background information first.  One of the best ways, for me personally, to get through trials is worshiping God through music. Christian music always changes my perspective and I find much needed comfort through it. Whenever I had anxiety about something, Bryan would put Christian music on because he knew the Lord would speak to me and change my heart. God had done this so many times through my trials, and my miscarriage was no different.  Around the time we lost our baby, a song called "Blessings," by Laura Story came out. I cannot say enough how much comfort I found in this song! I felt it was written just for me! And because it was new, it got played a lot on the Christian radio station. Every time I would hear it, it would make me cry, but it also brought me the right perspective on our situation. And because I heard it so much while I was healing, I always associate it with our angel baby in heaven. Time went by, and through the summer I would hear the song less and less. And recently had actually forgotten about it because I hadn't heard it in so long.
Then we went to church this morning.  And just as worship was winding down and we took our seats, the singers came out and in a few notes, I knew what song it would be. It was the song that always reminded me of my baby. They were singing Laura Story's "Blessings," and they were singing it on my baby's estimated due date! While I listened, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. We have never heard them sing it before. Bryan grabbed my hand as we fought back tears.  We thought we were the only ones who knew of this significant date, but God quickly reminded us that He too remembered! I know that this may not seem like a big deal to some, but for us, it was so special. A special little moment between us and God just letting us know once again that He cares! And once again, that these trials in this life, can be blessings in disguise.

If you have never heard this song, please take a few moments to listen. I pray it may encourage you through your trials as well...

Number 1 Celebration!

I noticed on my ticker today it was a very special day! :) We have been waiting 1 year, 1 month, 1 week, and 1 day for our referral! What better way to celebrate than with some Korean food! :)

Bryan waiting for our food at the new Rice B's Korean Restaurant!

Checking out some Korean snacks!

Beautiful artwork with verse Mark 9:23, "Jesus said to him, "All things are possible to him who believes."

 Beef Bulgogi with veggies, Kimchi and Mandu! Yum!

Really need to get better at these chopsticks! :)

Thankful Thursday: Good Deals and God's Provision

It's no secret I like good deals! It's not easy living off one income around here and save for our adoption. When I was working full time as a nanny, not only did God place a huge desire in my heart to be a mom, but a stay at home mom at that. Bryan felt the same way too, but we knew it would be a huge challenge to afford (especially on his salary). But just like when we decided to trust God with our adoption, we also wanted trust Him with this too.  So, at the time the family that I was a nanny for moved away, and we decided to pursue our adoption, we also decided to try and see if we could make living off one income work. I have had to learn to be very thrifty. We weren't big spenders anyway, so this was going to be some task.  Well, it didn't take long, and I discovered couponing. I'm sure everyone knows now about couponing because of the TLC show, but 2 years ago, couponing was actually not as known as it is now. I really felt that it was a miracle that I stumbled across a website one night and listened to a online seminar about it.  So, once I started couponing, and got good at it, I was actually able to cut our grocery budget by 60% and often times even more!  As much as it saved us though, it didn't save quite enough. We had to reevaluate our budget. We cut our cable, we didn't eat out, we didn't buy clothes, and we continue to drive our paid for, 14 year old cars, all to make this dream of mine of being home with our children come true.  And let me just say, this has NOT been easy. It's so hard to say no sometimes to friends or family when they want to go out to eat and do something fun. It's hard to have to figure out another outfit to wear to church when you have so few options. It's hard to drive around a beat up car with no air conditioning.  But when I think about why I'm doing this, I know I wouldn't trade it for the world.  We have been able to pay all our bills, tithe, and even give occasionally. Sometimes it doesn't make sense to us where money comes from, but we know that God has been providing for us.  Not only has He provided for me to be at home, but also for our $30,000+ adoption along the way! Even when it looked like there was no way we could do it,  God managed to make it work and continues to make it work! So, this Thankful Thursday, I am thankful for good deals, yes, but more importantly I am thankful for the One who provides them!

And just for fun, here are some of the good deals God has provided via craigslist for our soon to come little one. ;)

Our 360 Degree Clip On High Chair- $30!

Our Dutailier Glider- $15!

Our Radio Flyer Wagon- $10!

Thankful Thursday: Surprises!

This Thankful Thursday I would like to honor my sweet hubby for his incredible effort in making my 30th Birthday such a wonderful one!  Bryan has known for years that I was NOT looking forward to my 30th! I had always had a goal that I would have all my children by the time I was 30! As it got closer, my goal changed to that I just wanted to at least be a momma by 30.  It was obvious that that goal would not be met in time, and my wonderful husband wanted to somehow make my birthday special anyway. So he surprised me! Not just once, but THREE times! Let me also say, Bryan is not a big fan of surprises.  He doesn't like the risk in it. Too many things have to go right so everything will fall into place, and he doesn't like to chance things. So, the fact that he did this, caught me way off guard!
Surprise One
Bry had been planning this for months! In September he told me he was going to take me to Myrtle Beach for a weekend getaway for my early birthday present! I was so excited, because we never got a chance to have a vacation because our miscarriage happened right before we were going to leave. He knew how much I wished we could have got away and just relax with my family, so he went ahead and planned this for me early, so that we would have nice weather. And it was a perfect weekend! It was only a few days, but it was way more than I ever expected. He got a great Groupon deal for the resort we stayed at and we used restaurants.com coupons to eat out, so we didn't really have to spend too much money!  My hunny knows how much I appreciate a bargain! ;) It was by far the most perfect birthday present I have ever gotten. It was much needed and much appreciated!
Surprise Two
So, now we have reached the end of September, and I had made plans with my parents to come up to Georgia and stay with them for a few weeks. We were going to meet them in Columbia since we were already there visiting Bryan's family, but when I called my dad, he said he wouldn't be able to do it because of work and he would try to meet us another time. But little did I know Bryan had be scheming for months for another surprise. After visiting with Bryan's family in Columbia, we made our way back home to Charleston instead of me going to Georgia like I had originally planned. It was late and I walked in the house first. When I opened the door I noticed immediately that it was cold. I thought it was weird that Bry left the air conditioning running. And then just as I was about to come in and turn on the lights, I heard a baby laughing. Terrified,  I immediately turned around and ran back outside and told Bry that there was someone in the house. My heart was racing and was so scared. Bryan took my hand and walked me back in. I was so confused, but trusted Bryan knew what he was doing to take me back in that house! We came around the corner and then all of the sudden, I saw Cooper, my nephew holding a happy birthday balloon! The source of those baby noises! Then I heard people shout "Surprise!" and out came the rest of my family! I was so shocked and wanted to cry, but I was still so confused! At first I didn't even think Bryan knew about it, but later I found out he was the mastermind of this plan to get my family down to Charleston. It had been a long time before I had my whole family visit us, and he knew that it would make me so happy to have them here to visit for a long weekend and celebrate my birthday! Later that night, I found out all the planning that he had to do to keep this all a secret for so long. He created a secret email account called surprisingmonica@g mail.com, so I would not be able to read the exchanges he had back and forth with my family. Things would change, complications would arise, but he ended up pulling off a great surprise. One that I will never forget!
Surprise Three
Once the weekend was over, the plan was for me to go back up to GA with my family and spend two weeks with them. I knew that I was going to miss Bryan! After all, that was a long time to be a part from your spouse! I always love going "home" to the Georgia mountains. It was such a beautiful place to grow up. The sites and smells all bring back fond memories for me, so I definitely was looking forward to my visit. But after about a week, I trully missed my husband and was counting down the days I would be able to see him again. So, finally, my actual birthday comes on October 5th, and I'm sitting at the bar of the kitchen working on one of my paintings and getting ready to have dinner with my family, when the door opened and in comes a sight for sore eyes...my Bryan!! Three days earlier than expected!! I immediately exclaimed "Bryan!" followed by lots of clapping! (I know, I'm a dork!) ;) Again I wanted to cry, but was still so confused! He got me again!  He told me he wanted to be with my on my actual birthday! Man, what a guy! What a joy to be married to such a selfless and thoughtful soul mate!
So after all that, Bryan actually was able to get me to forget how much I was dreading turning 30, and instead remember how much I am blessed to get to spend the rest of my birthdays with him!

Thank you hunny for my much needed surprises!! I love you!!