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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

God is So Good!

Despite dealing with our longer wait for referral, God has blessed us tremendously and continues to show favor on this adoption! A couple days ago, I had let myself get down by some negativity that was shown regarding our adoption. For a moment, I let that negativity affect me and I questioned if we were doing the right thing. Were we acting responsible by taking on such a HUGE financial risk? Were we were truly called to adopt? Soon I was distracted by the responsibilities of the day, and put these doubts aside. The next day (yesterday), I went to check the mail, and I saw this letter…

It was from Show Hope, a grant that we had applied for around the end of October. In December, Show Hope sent us an email wanting some updated financial information and told us they would be considering our application for review, and to expect to hear something in about four months. I assumed this letter was to state the same thing. Show Hope, in case you didn’t know, is the grant organization that Steven Curtis Chapman started and has been very successful in providing aid for orphans and adoptive families. They are probably one of the most widely known grant organizations in the Christian adoption world. And because they are so popular, everyone who is or will ever be in the process of adopting, applies to them. They only allow you to apply one time because there are so many people that do apply! I actually thought about not applying to them, because of the competition, and the fact that I have never heard of anyone actually receiving one of their grants. I would read blogs about people saying that applying for grants is a waste of time unless you are adopting special needs children or sibling groups, or if you are financially destitute (whatever that means). Since we are applying to adopt a healthy child, our financial need was truly our only hope to receive their grant. So, back to the letter, I opened it first, out to of the huge stack of mail, just out of curiosity. And to my surprise, it read…
“Dear Bryan and Monica,
On behalf of Show Hope and the donors who make our grants possible, we rejoice with your family as you step out in faith to experience the miracle of adoption. Thank you for allowing us to be a small part of your adoption process. We are pleased to inform you that you have been award an adoption assistance grant in the amount of $3000.”
Apparently we are financially destitute! ;) I immediately started to cry and couldn’t contain myself to read any further. Bryan was home and just put in a work call as I started crying. I could see the look of confusion on his face as he was leaving a message to one of his clients. When he got off the phone, I just handed him the letter and said, “We got a grant!” He calmly read through the letter, as I balled, then he just smiled and hugged me. From my reaction, he thought that we had received our referral or something! I clarified to him, that we don’t get notified by mail of our referral, we will get a call, and even if that was our referral, I would have been crying a whole lot more than that!! ;) We immediately prayed together and thanked God, once again, for His provision in our adoption. I couldn’t believe that I actually read those words. In my life so far, I have made several plans, plans that I thought God wanted me to do, but I would constantly hit roadblock after roadblock. I wanted to marry Bryan as soon as I fell in love with him (in high school), I wanted to become an art teacher, and most recently, I wanted to get pregnant. All of which, happened at a later time than I wanted, or did not happen at all. I was used to constantly being rejected and hearing, “No.” or “Not Now.” But, fast forward to our decision to adopt, the whole process has been nothing but assuring that God’s hand is on it. I wouldn’t say things have been easy, but it has definitely gone much smoother, by far, than any of my other plans. There have been more moments of rest and assurance than I have ever experienced. On the days I have my doubts; God is always quick to assure me that He is with us in this! Praise God for His goodness! And thank you all for your prayers!
Some of you may have noticed, our ticker on the front page has shown more money. Well, on Saturday, since this posting, we received a substantial donation from a family member! They generously matched our grant from Show Hope! As you can imagine, we just stared at each other, speechless, and cried, of course! I feel so undeserving of all this generosity. The Lord has really been teaching me so much through everyone's giving, and inspired me to be more giving myself! Thank you all again for giving! Big or small, every gift is a blessing that Bryan and I, and our little one to be, will NEVER forget! Thank you Lord for your provision!

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